Mama Bear Lessons
Here in Maryland, our back garden is THE happening place for several does and their fawns, who patiently take turns in the lingering twilight to feast upon the corn we leave for them. At the same time, we can peer from the kitchen's bay window down into the branches of a backyard camellia bush, where attentive cardinal parents work to feed and protect this year's second brood of babies, nestled in their nest there.
Basically, we are surrounded by all kinds of Mothering right now.
In truth, Summer is Mama Nature's season-long, “teachable moment” on all things MOTHERING--both OUT THERE and INSIDE OUR BODIES, & whatever we learn from our “Summer seasoning” is available for us to draw from whenever and wherever we need it throughout our lives.
Just a few days ago, as I headed into the Knoxville, Tennessee airport to catch a flight home, I HAD to pause & get a photo with this airport sculpture (above) that celebrates the Season of the MOTHER---aka, SUMMER-- so delightfully.
In fact, Mama Bear is a wonderful totem/ spirit animal/ teacher when it comes to practicing our own MOTHERING energies--whether that be actual children or perhaps another kind of creative outpouring-- like mothering a Tik Tok account documenting your baking adventures, or mothering a multi-day family reunion, or mothering a new business, or mothering the organizing/conducting of a protest march.
Here are 3 ways we can “Mama Bear” our own creative CAN-DO muscles like a, well, --like a MOTHER. :)
#1 Set & keep boundaries.
When it comes to harnessing Summer's seasonal energies and building up our creative "can do", Mama Bear is a powerful spirit animal to adopt. After all, who knows how to set and keep boundaries more fiercely than she? DO NOT MESS with baby bear nor try to interfere with Mama Bear's access to Baby Bear. Period.
What does this look like for you and me?
Most likely, it'll mean protecting our energies & space & time so that we can focus it all on the creative project we're MOTHERING.
Mama Bearing the projects that we find meaningful will often sound like this:
"I CAN'T DO THIS, BUT I'M WILLING TO DO THAT."
e.g. "I'm not able to take charge of the county's fine arts fair, but I am willing to work a booth for 2 days once it opens."
"I'M UNABLE TO TAKE THIS ON RIGHT NOW." (If you
suspect the asker will follow that up with "Well, when
WILL you be available?" use the next one)
"I'M NOT ADDING ANYTHING NEW TO MY SCHEDULE
AT THIS TIME, NOR IN THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE."
#2 Keep the end goal in mind & work toward it.
As I wrote in the last newsletter, your MOTHERING energy is meant to be poured into a limited number of projects at any given time.
Why?
Because, authentic MOTHERING IS HARD! It requires strength and stamina and resilience and perseverance to show up again and again until the project has reached its maturity.
It helps to keep reminding ourselves:
Of our BIG WHY--whatever that is for you.
E.g. “I'm writing this book to inspire women to camp in National Parks because adventures in nature are life-changing” or “I'm training this puppy because it's important to me to have a canine companion and support the work of the Humane Society" or “I'm raising these kids well because it's important to me that they be well-adjusted, responsible adults.”
That Mothering is, by design, supposed to be HARD.
Simply saying this truth often allows us to release the story fallacy we might be harboring that sounds like-- “How come this seems so easy for everyone else, when I'm feeling overwhelmed every day?” Mothering is a big, hard, challenging, worthwhile deal and should be treated as such.
Mothering doesn't last forever.
In fact, it only 1 part out of 4 of a woman's creative cycle. Just repeating something like “I have an end in sight” restores our perspective & helps us appreciate where we are in the moment.
#3 Take care of yourself.
Okay, okay, we've all heard it before, but are we actually, really, truly, DOING IT in real time? The demands of Mothering require an equal and opposite level of support & care for our physical, mental, emotional selves. We simply gotta do whatever it takes to:
Stay hydrated
Eat foods that nourish
Delight in the world around us (especially the natural world)
Sleep & rest
Laugh heartily every day
Exercise (May I suggest a morning or evening walk?)
Take regular breaks from the work
As I was speaking with a friend recently, she candidly observed, “I'm really good at Maidening (exploring new things, taking risks, etc.) but I suck at Mothering (committing to doing whatever it takes to FINISH the job).”
I had 2 reactions--delight at hearing this shared vocabulary among Well-Seasoned Women (EEK!!) AND a new understanding of how this framework can support our awareness of our personal tangles/areas in need of attention.
So, what about you, dear reader? How is your MOTHERING FLOW?
I mean, most of us can get a bit tangled up & stuck from time to time with setting boundaries, and discovering our WHY, and practicing authentic self-care. But, for those of us with a big ole TANGLE that has really got us stuck--so so easy to do, especially in the midst of this pandemic-ridden, inflation-pervading time, then you might explore how a few coaching sessions could make all the difference.
In the meantime, lemme hear that Mama Bear growl!! We've got this!
Until next time,
xo
