getting rooty with it
We are biologically wired to winter well.
But our modern culture--with its year-round accessibility to food, electric light, and social activities--makes it very easy to distance ourselves from our deepest biological instincts and rhythms.
This isn't a dig on Progress--I'm grateful for my FaceTime, my roomba, & my strawberries in December!--but, it does mean that getting in touch with my instinctual rhythms requires both intention and lots of practice.
Since I don't winter in a hut with my sheep, dependent on my fireplace for cooking and warmth, and the sun's movement as my daily clock, I have to remind my brain and body of the need to do what came naturally to my ancestors during winter.
For them, the two priorities of Winter Seasoning were to
1) Survive Winter, and
2) Be as well-conditioned as possible for the coming Spring/growing season.
In that order.
Our Instinct to Winter Well
I believe this is why so many of us feel pressured to jump into a bunch of New Year's resolutions that have to do with our physical selves, physical spaces, & earthly possessions. The urgency to adopt a new diet, or a new exercise regimen, or immediately begin organizing our homes, or tackle our taxes--are all our modern culture's response to the ancient, instinctive drive to survive a whole season of darkness. And frozenness. And dwindling supplies. In that hut. With those sheep.
But to truly become Well-Seasoned in our time and for our purpose, we need to dig a little deeper into this fundamental drive to survive--what social scientists call our Self Preservation Instinct--so that we can practice truly wintering well.
Winter's Crone
Learning how to survive--and dare we say it, find the goodness?-- in Wintering, and then emerge conditioned for whatever comes next is the work of the Crone.
Our Inner Crone's speciality? Supporting our efforts to balance our primitive, Self-Preservation Instinct, which is all about the drive to obtain food and shelter, and safety. By conditioning our earthy, physical, root-needs, the Crone knows our overall wellness and vitality will be supported throughout the year to come.
The chart I created below provides an idea of the always practical nature of Cronish wisdom.
The really good news is that we all have a Self-Preservation Instinct, and when we allow it to flow naturally, it becomes a balanced source of Cronish wisdom and vitality in our lives.
Hey, I'm hungry--better stop and make something good to nosh on.
My butt is cramped from sitting in this position-- better get up and take a walk and stretch.
Yes!--my bonus check arrived. Lemme slide that into my vacay fund right now, so I don't somehow spend it too early.
I'm feeling a bit tired. Lemme lie down for 20 mintues on the couch.
Brrr, it's getting colder--time to call the chimney sweep.
But, let's face it, we're human, so it's easy for our instinctual balance to get outta whack and lose its “flow-ability." If we get triggered and/or fearful aout our root-needs, we tend to become either blocked or overloaded in one or more than one of the areas listed in the chart, above.
Blocked Self-Prez Instinct
When a woman's SP instinct is blocked, she most often believes that some portion of her is somehow “broken." She's telling herself the story that everyone else seems to get it and be capable of doing all the practical adulting thing well, but there must be something wrong and shameful about her because a lot of this stuff is basically a great big, distasteful EWWWW!
What is wrong with me? How come everyone else seems to have their act together & I'm just sitting here, unable to get with it? I don't think about exercising or how to balance my checkbook or exactly when I'm gonna pay my taxes--in fact, I try hard NOT to think about those things! I don't want to deal with having to negotiate getting new shingles for the roof. I have no idea how much water I drink--or if I even drink ANY during the day. I just wish a big, ole fairy godmother could come and take care of all this stuff for me.
If this is you, you are not alone. And, guess what? It doesn't have to go like this.
Overloaded Self-Prez Instinct
When a woman's overloading her Self-Prez instinct, fear causes her to override her body's natural wisdom and needs, and instead focus on them with neurotic distortion.
What if while I'm on this roadtrip, we have to drive for a long time without seeing a restaurant? I better double up at the breakfast buffet now!
And/or also like this:
My New Year's Resolution is to lose weight. So, I'm just gonna eat ONE small meal a day + exercise daily for 2 hours + and refuse to attend any birthday parties because, well, cake.
Perhaps your neurotic attention isn't focused as much on your body as it is money or time or home care.
But, if the energy associated with these overloaded descriptions has you nodding your head, just know, you are not alone. And, know that your natural flow-ability can be restored.
Simple ideas to get started on balancing/ celebrating your Self-Prez FLOW
#1 Begin with where you're at.
Meet yourself as you are. Reject any “Should've, could've, would've shaming and blaming," and instead, practice lavishing yourself with some unconditional love, honoring who you are and where you're at. Right here, right now. “I love all of the beautiful, messy, awkward that is me. I am worthy of every good thing.”
#2 Pay attention & stay curious.
One way to tell that we might need some re-balancing is to pay attention to how we're triggered when we encounter someone who seems to be overdoing/under-functioning regarding the wellness thing or the budgeting thing or the home efficiency/nesting thing.
Do you feel shame or blame? Contraction in the body? Panic or irritation? If yes, it's great practice to simply acknowledge what's coming up and breathe into it. As you do, try to stay with the feeling--not judging it or yourself or the other person-- but simply allow the feeling to play itself out over the course of several deep breaths. In the aftermath, see if something that feels calmer and more centered doesn't arise.
#3 Show Up & Practice.
BLOCKED. If your fears tend to block your natural Self-Prez instinct, consider adopting regular “baby steps" to restore your FLOW.
This week, I'll spend time dancing to 3 of my favorite songs, at least 5 times.
I'm scheduling a “Turbo Tax Tuesday” with my husband for next next week, just to talk about how we'll approach tax preparation this year.
OVERLOADED. If your fears tend towards a more neurotic imbalance, consider embracing a “YES, I'll go with the flow" approach to life, at least one day a week or one week a month.
Would I like some of the waffles with butter and syrup that you made for breakfast, or am I sticking with my hardboiled egg? Why, yes, I would love to taste some of the yumminess you've made and share this moment with you!
Would I like to throw an impromptu dance party on the coffee table or stick to my posted “NO FEET ON THE FURNITURE” rule? Why, yes, lemme get my boogie shoes on!
#4 Daily, spend time outside.
Breathe the fresh air. Try to find beauty & encouragement & inspiration in Mama Nature's bigger, fuller, truer flow where everything everything everything is flowing naturally and sustainably.
#5 Consider getting help.
If and when necessary (i.e. When you recognize that some support/accountability are needed to help restore your flow-ability), ask for help from trusted friends, or therapists, or coaches--like me.
We are biologically wired to winter well and to attend to our most basic root-needs regarding our bodies, our shelter, and our resources, but sometimes our wiring can get blocked or overloaded.
The very good news indeed is that we can practice getting our wiring untangled, beginning right now, and enjoy the FLOW that results in being a Well-Seasoned woman, in this year and this season, one beautiful, messy, awkward moment at a time.
Xo
