Here's a quote from former Indian President, A.P.J. Adul Kalam, that grabbed my attention recently:

“You have to dream before your dreams can come true.”

Makes sense, right?

But how do we go about dream-generating when the voices inside our heads are diligently going about their whack-a-mole whack-a-dream drills whenever we even begin to imagine something new? “Why waste your time entertaining cockamamie ideas?" or “Why dream when you know it'll just lead to disappointment?” or "Seems like somebody might be getting too big for her britches!”

I get it.

But here's the thing: the only true antidote to exhaustion of all kinds & feelings of being unmotivated, unengaged, and listless are the gifts of the Crone offers to us, the gifts that Mama Nature teaches us how to practice every Winter.

These gifts include rejuvenation, deep conditioning, renewal, and yes, dreaming.

a timely reminder

It's harder to see anything much happening in the natural world in winter; but, this is truly the time when Mama Nature's reminding us that the Wheel of the Year continues to steadily turn, even when we can't see it or feel it.

Much of the wonder is happening beneath the surface of things in the soil. For here, in the innermost portion of the Earth's womb, a seedish-kind of magic is stirring and quickening and germinating. It's the release of a “newing power” that can only happen when energy is focused WITHIN and not continuing to be focused on the EXTERNALS.

The lesson for us that just because it doesn't appear that much is happening, regular seasons of lying fallow in order to dream and renew are anything but a waste of time.

an honest q & r

Q: So, Kathleen, I've got a job that's sucking the life right outta me, children I love with every last atom of my being but who are, in fact--children, requiring much of my time and attention, a household, and a never-ending To Do list. How exactly am I supposed to DREAM for even 5 teensy minutes?

R: I hear you, and you aren't alone. As with any personal development, we begin exactly where we are--in the midst of the Beautiful, Messy, Awkward that is our reality, and love ourselves for doing the best that we can with where we are at this moment. Then, we practice taking one small step, one small shift at at time until we feel something loosen & expand, allowing us to take another small step & shift a little more.

For most of us, it's about getting honest about how much of our time is going into what really matters very little to us in the big picture--things like unlimited social media scrolling or repeatedly volunteering for that role that will continue to suck the life right outta you instead of saying, “No” more often, and then repurposing that time for something that matters--namely our own restoration and renewal.

There's also most likely, an underlying reason why it's so hard. Maybe you can't allow yourself to prioritize your own rest/daydreaming because somehow you aren't a priority in your own life. Maybe you've been taught that having needs, desires, and longings of your own is shameful to admit. Maybe it's downright scary to think of laying down your daily burden, even for a little while, because, what if the whole world falls apart as a result?

The thing is that instead of being a luxury for those who live a life of leisure, DREAMING is a necessity for each and every one of us who long to live and love freely and fully, throughout every chapter & season of our lives!

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A QUICK NOTE

SHOWING UP to address any trigger &/or tangling you discover requires persistence, tenderness, patience, and a little know-how.

When it feels overwhelming, coaching can help.

I'm ready when you are. Click here to get started.

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#1 begin with your body

When we're physically drained, it's just about impossible for any soul-infused dreams to surface. If your sleep space doesn't include Quietness + Darkness + Coolness--ie. the “sleep trinity,” then make some adjustments to insure that your bedtime routine helps your body help YOU in your quest to restore what has been depleted.

#2 create dream-friendly space

One of the most important changes we can make is weaning ourselves from blue light (TV's, computers, tablets, phones) shortly before and during bedtime. It's hard for something new to rise when our bodies and brains are constantly in a state of being stimulated. Instead, use that time to fire gaze (even the dance of a candle flame can be soothing) to star gaze, or to conduct a menial task--one that doesn't demand lots of focus, like showering, packing lunches, light cleaning, or folding laundry--in intentional quiet. The rhythm of the task and of your breathing, combined with a quiet space, allows the brain to withdraw and discover ideas that might have been pushed down/back, and then bring those ideas forward in the form of daydreams.

#3 practice dream-weaving

This is about thinking for pleasure, not practicality, okay? If we're not used to doing much pleasurable, freestyle daydreaming, then we've just gotta practice some. Here are a couple of ideas to get your “daydream river” flowing in no time!

Imagine that you're watching a really engaging film that stars a woman with your exact same life and priorities. What challenges does she overcome to reach her dream? What tools does she use to figure things out and overcome? What inspires you most about her?
Design pleasurable “mental movies” to this multi-response prompt, “If ___ (time, money, my fears, my current situation) wasn't a factor, I would love to ___.” (travel, work for the Peace Corps, create a fantasy backyard, start a business, become a pastry chef, train guide dogs, complete an Ironman triathalon etc.). Don't worry about the How; just have fun with the What.

Daydreaming is to the heart and mind what trully restful sleep is to the body. Both are much needed sources of renewing, rejuvenating, rejoicing.

Our own Cronish, seed-magic is released in direct proportion to the amount of time/energy we allot to dreaming, visualizing, and paying attention to our quiet, heart-felt longings.

Sweet dreaming, my friends.