stopping to smell the roses?
You know a thing or two about working hard.
About getting up early and staying up late in order to make it happen.
But after you've given it your all for a season, how good are you at stepping back to see if maybe the time for the Hanging On & Hanging In is waning ?
If the time to prune & fertilize the roses hasn't made way for the time to stop and smell the roses a bit?
The transition into the Time to Let Go is often awkward and messy due to all those pesky little humongous fears that keep us stuck in our heads and habits.
“What if I don't feel like I'm allowed to let go?
What if I let go & everything immediately collapses?
What if I suck at smelling the roses?
What if I love smelling the roses so much that I never want to stop?"
We've explored this transition in a previous newsletter, but because A) We're human and because B) Fear can be more persistent than an army of ants at a picnic, we've gotta keep reminding ourselves of what's more important than our fear.
And that's our FLOW.
Our FLOW-- our ability to shift through all the phases & creative cycles of our lives--is equal to our ability to truly & vitally live instead of just exist.
And this is why we've got to regularly practice Hanging On and then Letting Go-- even if loosening our grip feels inconvenient, awkward, and a bit messy at first.
“But, Kathleen, you don't get it. I cannot possibly find a chunk of time to back off right now because x + y + z.”
But here's the thing: if we don't begin practicing loosening our white-knuckle grip on our schedule, responsibilities, and To Do Lists---even for the teensiest bit, we somehow lose our FLOW-ability over the long haul.
So, here's the challenge:
#1 Ask yourself this question & pay attention to what comes up for you WITHOUT BRUSHING IT OFF immediately.
What one chore/duty/responsibility have you been doing for a long time already & long to take a break from, for even a little while?
#2 Draw upon all your savvy and discipline and gumption to practice Letting Go of it for at least a small amount of time.
Choose to not be available & then follow through on it. Don't be quick to respond. Don't volunteer. Instead, embrace the silence and the not-doing, the constant reminding, and control.
Are you the one who has assumed the job of cleaning out the office coffee maker and refilling it each morning (because nobody else will)? Are you the one who issues a nonstop flow of instructions to all the kiddos every morning in order to get them out the door (because they'll never make it without the reminders)? Are you the one who always volunteers to teach vacation bible school (because otherwise, what will people think)?
Caveat: Safety is paramount--so, this backing away needs to feel risky for you but without putting the actual physical/emotional safety of the vulnerable/innocent at stake. I know you know, but still, I have to mention.
3. Pay attention to what happens.
When you disrupt the pattern, you open up the possibility for something new to emerge--in its own messy, awkward way. If you keep at it, you might be surprised to see that others can & will rise to fill the gap & that growth can happen. Not always, but enough times to make it worthwhile.
Our Letting Go actually creates the opportunity for growth in others AND it allows us to flow into other, more enjoyable pursuits. I mean, when did you last do some front-porch sitting? Some garden puttering? Some nature-walking? Some art gallery browsing? Some day-dreaming? Some rose-sniffing?
If not now, when?
