Vim, Vigor, Vitality? Yes, Please!
How's your Autumn 2022 going?
Around here, we're getting an Autumn that is ALL color, all briskness, all mysterious lengthening darkness, all crunchy crackling leaf-pile comfort. I'm doing the dance of joy because we haven't had one of these kind of textbook East Coast, Autumns in awhile, and I absolutely LOVE 'em.
Something else I love and have found to be an invaluable tool in my own journey towards becoming a Well-Seasoned woman is practicing seasonal affirmations.
Whether we recognize it or not, every thought we think and every word we speak is affiming SOMETHING. I used to do a lot of affirming of the negative, the self-limiting, the fearful, the anxious, the shameful.
Now that I know better, I've been intentionally and intuitively affirming love, hope, growth, abundance, courage, strength, and joy. And it's made a big difference in my imperfectly beautiful, messy, awkward life for the past 10+ years.
You can read more about affirmations in my blog here and here.
The Matriarch-Queen's/Autumn affirmation is:
I now release all that unnecessarily drains me of my vitality.
This deserves a little unpacking.
#1 Necessary vs. Unnecessary
Discerning the difference between these two can be so dang hard because, the cultural imperative is that pretty much everything is important--that we've got to DO IT ALL and BE IT ALL, world without end, amen. This “Exhaustion as a Badge of Honor” is simply not sustainable as a long term model.
Here are some prompts that might help you in discerning what stories, tasks, people, roles. etc. have a legitimate claim to our energy, and what may not. By no means absolute, this list may nonetheless bring up something worthy of further reflection during a taking stock session.
Does hanging on to it/releasing it…
Allow me to cling to what's comfortable/familiar rather than SHOW UP for ch-ch-change?
Keep someone/something else stuck instead of naturally growing into their/ its full potential?
Leave a big, meaningful goal I have committed to abandoned and unable to manifest/reach its full potential?
Allow me to live out my response to the questions, What matters to me + What is mine to do?
Produce a longterm Win-Win for the key stakeholders? [Important for the “helpers” among us who habitually default to others at cost to themselves--xo]
Release more love, hope, joy, and connection into the world & into my bloodstream?
Remember, some of what is unnecessarily draining us of our vitality might have once been good and supportive of us/our place in the world, but is now holding us back and keeping us stuck.
I mean, what was good for the very hungry caterpillar would be completely unnecessary should he try to hang on to it instead of releasing it to climb into the cocoon & surrender to the uncertainty of what might emerge next, right?
Or it may be that we've been clinging to something that has always been pretty much toxic but somehow felt familiar and comfortable. Either way, taking stock means we do the work of reflecting on THIS time, THIS season & participating in our own evolving creative cycle in the NOW
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#2 Vitality
Call it Vim. Vigor. Oomph. Zing. Fire. Pep. Spirit. Whichever word we use, when we practice becoming Well-Seasoned, we do what is necessary to protect and nurture our vital Life Force.
I want to live fully until my very last day upon this magnificent planet and that requires some regular sessions in taking stock, lest I fail to discover an extended pattern of lifelessness, dullness, boredom, apathy, lethargy, indifference, and meaninglessness--all antonyms of vitality. You?
Will there be times when we're legitimately exhausted? God, I hope so, for this is a pretty good indicator that we've been engaged in a season of full-out Mothering*. But, leaning into being a Well-Seasoned Woman is knowing that exhaustion must be addressed with a season of full-out Matriarch-Queening as part of the natural, sustainable, creative cycle that Mama Nature embodies so beautifully.
*Note: Exhaustion can indicate other issues as well
